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and now its time to reaturn to the farm back in 1975 and mince pies to chelmsford starring keith and paul the pigs and the new creada carefree electric cooker also starring my first encounter with then was the braintree boiler dynnargh welclome falite croeso

January 12, 2015

imageviscountessb_0005it was just before Christmas 1975 and having been living in the Essex town of chelsford I breafly returned to the farm once again just for a week to make some mince pies as you know in Victorian times mince pies weren’t as we know them to day ,they used to contain meet sounds revolting doesn’t it .it was the time my aunty changed her old belling a40 one for a creada carefree cooker with its 4 rings and double oven and the control panel was like full of knobs and interments and it was in the common market oven settins this think they called centergrade,I didn’t care for it normanly you put the oven at 390f any way I made two batches of the mince tarts one with sweet filling and from an old cookery book ones with the meet .when thay was done I vencherd up o the pig sty where paul and keith was asleep .in a tin I put 6 of the mince pies as I sat between them soon as thay smelt the pies there little eyes lit up and that farmiliier grunting sound that they be made again it was like id never gone away .aas I told them about the Braintree years and my time in the capitall town of Chelmsford .and how they had stroes with strange things in them like coffee percolators .fondle sets and from the train station theses suited city slickers in the dark suits with snow in there hair and on there seemed that in the place thay call the smoke it seemed by there hair and shoulders it snows all the time and they strange way thay greeted eachn other with all right mate hows it going mate everything all right mate and the most common one cheers mate ,and the local tv station called Anglia who talked about strange towns and lands like Suffolk and cromer in a county called Norfolk further from home .and even though the accent was of the country it was still hard some times to under stand thses strange people who didn’t talk about oxford or birming ham or cowley or even burford ,as paul put his big head on my lap as he sniffed the tin now don’t be piggy paul as opened the tin his head was in there with a grunt thay was all gone as the look on keiths face of horry and disscust as I put my hand down  my top here keith theres one for you as he chomped away at it .but the hardest people to understand was the then Braintree bolier with there 4 like chins as they walked along the high street as they moved about and wobbeled like jelly s on a plate with there greetings of hullo darling could do with a bit of that and as they walked along its like there knuccles was dragging on the ground with there brown and red eyes and if they poked out there tongue at thee it was green and yellow and the way they would sit there and put there finger up there nose and then like there ears sniff there fingers .how  strange race they are and they live a different pace of life than they be in chelsford and they don’t say thee or thy I cant under stand why as they walk they wobble on by as they squeak wat a skinky smell .some where fur coats with no knickers in that brantree land of hell thentheres clock house bartrams avenue and hay lane you never at that time want to go there in the rain or rayne with old cars on the gardens as one walk by .then you here as you walk by forein poofter go home .this is our home not yours as I turn and say Braintree bastard I hope you die  today ,as paul on his own lay grunting away oh no wheres that keith gone and before long I heard my aunty scream get that pig out of here its eat the mince pies like so manty times before and once more I was trying to get him out the kitchen and before long there was paul like so many times before bl;ocking the old kitchen door with grunting sounds as I chase them away to there pen and start making the mince pies yet again for another day some to take back to the land of Braintree and Chelmsford so far away .imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageDSCF1085DSCF1085CNV00004 also starring the towns of oxford shire like birford borton on the water at Christmas and oxfordDSCF0613 I think the most frightening experance with my first encounter with them was the long green and yellow tonge it seemed it was a foot long and the way that thay could look at you with one set of eyes and look away with the other in 1970s Braintree but styles change but the city slicker monk type hair style and the snow drift in the hair and shoilders will never change just like in the 1970s as for the Braintree boiler some are still there and like every else theres been a lot of different rasese in the town yet some times you see the grey haired some times with pale blue or green if they had a bit to drink green and yellow tonged Braintree boiler not often though but if you come from the west of the country vist the place by all means but if you move there from my own experance don’t perhaps its a trible thing from years ago why they just don’t get on with the Weston countys of englands people still who cares

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