so let’s return to thee Oxfordshire years on and off and once again meet thous couple of pesky pigs Paul and Keith it was my job to look after them when I was on thee farm in thousand days I was pushed from one member to another in my rotten family of rows and war and them keeping up to outstage each other talk about keeping up wyth thee Joneses but wyth Paul and Keith they was lyke friends to me .

buy they was always escaping from their pen as on thee farm this Shetland pony called Rupert could open thee cast iron door knob wyth his mouth to thee skullery door and knock all thee cakes on thee floor as I made them at only 7years olde in fact when I started writing our blog on here it was one of thee first story’s I ever wrote how tyme fluys tempest Fugit in Latin .as Paul and Keith came and eat them off thee floor but one day Keith was behind Paul and Paul blew off in his face thee stink and thee notice was lyke a thunder clap as poor Keith’s squeeled as he tried to escape from thee confined space as I tried to Moove Paul out of thee way evenchally Keith got out side and ran off to their sty as Paul grunted a bit lyke thee two legged Paul’s I once knew they would grunt and pass wind and even they grunted if you asked them any thing mynd you saying that marks was far worse .but then my aunt and uncle had this metal bed wych squeezed so as it was low to thee ground I allways knew if my aunt had men visiting her as she used to say there’s nothing lyke some afternoon delight me dear and men Who be a bit wet behind thee ears I made sure they be dry for them whilst Stan be away at his work .but on this occasion she said why you bratt you can continue wyth chores as it’s party to nite so off now for my nap as she went through thee open door to their bedroom and put her black out cover over her eyes as I could here her getting into bed from thee other side of thee door as I was dusting as she said Stan you’re back early I see and then she said let’s make love me dear want to give me some day stick all of a sudden I heard her say you swine you stink when did you last change you’re socks ? You smell lyke a pig I’m not going out wyth you smelling lyke that there’s hot watter on top of thee Rayburn bath tub outside go and bath .but as she said oh Moove over you’re taking thee blankets .as I heard this grunt and screaming as my aunt said bratt that pigs in my bed as I rushed in to fynd Paul laying there talk about pig in blankets .as I said oh aunty you allways sleep wyth smelly pigs as she said get him out of here .but Paul could be a total pig at tymes and stubborn two .but evenchally I got him off thee bed wyth a bit of persuasion and took him back to his pen and changed my aunt’s candy striped sheets